Climbing to the stars

Recently I went with my friend Don (who has written one edition of an advice column parody called Mrs. Wong) and his friend Karen to do rock wall climbing at the Lifetime Fitness center at the Easton complex. It was Karen's idea, because her singles ski club somehow has a standing weekly date to do this kind of thing. I guess Don and I could have met other singles there, but we figured it might not be... our kind of crowd.

And let's just get right into it. Keep in mind, none of us had ever climbed before...

This is Karen. I think she is quirkily attractive. On the other hand, she called the man who wanted her to pay before doing the climbing "Mr. Nazi Guy," so tact may not be a strong suit here.

This is Pete, our friendly volunteer belayer. Despite the stimulating presence of ropes and harnesses, belaying is not nearly as much fun as it sounds. When I asked him what he did for a living, he said, "Ah, I manage a bunch of software developers." When I said, "I'm a software developer!" he sort of turned away.

Ouch, Karen! If the rope cuts into your belly-button ring, you might want to just cover it up with some of Pete's tape!

And they're off. Her first-ever climb. I noticed that climbing pictures are great if you prefer the backs of people. I also noticed everybody's ass can look good in a harness.

Overcome with excitement, Don attempted to begin climbing this carpeted wall. When will it be his turn to catch the pure rush of rock wall climbing? Singles night at the climbing wall. I can't imagine what she is doing here: to me, the classy green pants, alien hair, and lavish make-up say fun!

Finally it's my turn to get strapped in and go for the climb. Excuse me while I kiss the sky. Did I mention that Pete, our volunteer belayer, was tied to the other end of the rope every time we attempted a climb? That was a position of power...

Yup, there I am in inappropriate shoes. But I wanted a nice minimalist color scheme, and, quite frankly, I think I achieved that.

Movie:
Thumbs up for climbing! (200KB)

More climbing. It was more fun than I thought it would be. On the other hand, basically, when you get to the top, they just let you down... rather speedily, I might add.

Movie:
Here is a movie of my descent. Can't explain the hand motions, but highly amusing. (1.3MB)

A final picture of me climbing. And I'm done, baby.

It was Don's turn to climb. Allegedly we were supposed to stick to the specific color group grips, using only one color to climb up the wall. Don and I decided that was absurd...

...and this is Don falling off the wall (300KB). Ha ha, but it wasn't my fault, OK, Don?

And here is Don complaining about the difficulty (800KB), quite amusingly, I thought. (I am the idiot guffawing at the end.)

A final climbing shot. I learned many things from rock wall climbing, but perhaps most meaningfully, I learned that there are many paths up an artificial cliff face. I learned that it is up to you to choose the best one.